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In a time when almost everything is generic, the Comedy Doctor says don't be fooled by cheap imitations and more importantly don't be one.

By Tony Spires, The Comedy Doctor

I could drag this out or candy-coat it somehow to make it go down easier but I going to take the real road and give it to you straight. Stop copying, borrowing and most of all, stop stealing! Writing is still a part of the craft of being a stand up. Really! I know that today a lot of people try to play it off with attitude, phony bravado and water-thin machismo. Women, I'm talking to you, too. Some of these characters even get shows...well, better make that pilots. But that doesn't make it right. After all these years, believe it or not, an original point of view is still the true name of this game.

Over the years I've seen many comedians make it big. I've seen many, many more pack up their bags and go home. It's a long way back to "Kansas", no matter how you go back. But it's a whole lot longer when you go home in shame. Remember that story about the emperor who wore no clothes? Well, homeboy was emperor! He was large and people were scared of losing their heads if they gave him any bad news, let alone if they told him that his haberdashery was wack. His subjects and his audiences were of the "captive" variety. Yours probably won't be. If it weren't for that little kid who didn't know enough to be scared and told the emperor what time it was, we'd probably all be walking around the mall naked right now-shopping for flip-flops!

Seriously though, the people that you are trying to impress see supposedly "talented" people everyday. They go to showcases, clubs concerts and festivals. It would be fortuitous to be seen in one of the aforementioned venues. It's even more crucial if you're trying some sort of "sphengali" routine to psyche people into believing that you are the truth. Heaven help you if they people coming to see you aren't having any part of it.

Now if you're not so lucky and you had to submit a tape for some sort of industry consideration I feel for you. For road gigs, tapes are the norm. Even industry execs look at tapes all the time. Sometime it's unavoidable. It's definitely more convenient. But live is always better than Memorex. Ya' dig? I feel even more for you if you try using a grainy, homemade vhs tape that your best friend shot for you on a camera that's funnier than you are.

And I'm through with you if you think that trained professionals, if they ever even decide to pick up your tape out of that huge stack against their office walls (right next to the stack of scripts), are going for the okey doke. If you're fortunate enough to get a look, you have to come correct-"with the goods," as they say. Remember what I said about that trip back to Kansas.

Bottom line, write. Write everyday. It won't all be masterpieces. You probably won't even be able to use most of it in your act. But if you're going to be a great comedian, you're probably going to have to be a great writer as well. Ever try getting some really clever comic who you think is brilliant in the car but terrible on stage, to write for you? Isn't it funny how the stuff he writes for you is never quite as tight as the stuff he blows on stage? Let's face it, even to get to the really good writers who don't hate, you're going to have to impress them with some material. So, be original, write, practice and develop your craft into something that even shines through on a raggedy tape. You owe it yourself to use the shot if you get one. So many people never do. And don't front. Somebody you run into is going to know what the deal is and they'll blow the whistle on you. Holla.

Tony Spires, the Comedy Doctor is a Los Angeles-based Personal Manager, Filmmaker, Independent TV Producer, Founder of The Bay Area Black Comedy Competition & Festival, and his Comedy Doctor columns appear in Comedy The Magazine. He is also the publisher of this publication Email him at: ComedyDoctor@BlackComedyCompetition.com

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